A very critical part (and start) of raising children is going to church. That has everything to do with your life “priority list”. If you’re interested in raising godly children, the following list has to be the priorities in your life:
(1) God
(2) Spouse
(3) Children
(4) Work or Ministry
(5) Hobbies or Whatever Else
From the children’s perspective, they need to see this list in the correct order. Small children are highly perceptive and intelligent. They know the most important thing in their parent’s lives, and if the parent’s priorities are different than this list, the child’s life list will be different too. One thing is very clear in the lives of children, they will become what you are. If you want God to be number one in their lives, He had better be number one in your life. If you want your children to go to church, you had better go with no excuses, and it had better be important to you. If you keep coming up with excuses not to go, then, when they grow up, they will come up with even more excuses than you had not to go. And when, as adults, they refuse to go to church – don’t repeat that lame excuse, “I did the best I could”.
I remember very clearly a response I got from my son when he was nine years-old. It was Saturday night, and my wife and one of my daughters were sick, and I felt terrible. I said, “I don’t think we’ll go to church tomorrow”. He said, “I never thought I’d hear those words come out of your mouth!” At the time it sounded funny, but the message about church in our family was clear. And it wasn’t just Sunday morning. It was Sunday night and Wednesday night. Because this wasn’t just church, it was GOD’s house. It was not the pastor’s house. (I will explain God’s house below). Only my sick wife and daughter stayed home that Sunday!
God was the most important thing in my life, and I didn’t feel that way because of my kids, I felt that way because of me. I didn’t realize at the time that God was preparing to give me a priceless future blessing because of this. My children were learning to love the Lord, because I loved the Lord. Because I was honoring Him, He was honoring me with a blessing through my children! Can you imagine God honoring a man? He does, and He will (1Sam. 2:30)!
So if God was really that important, of course you would go to His house! Listen to me parents, if you take church lightly, you are taking God lightly. But you say, “I don’t need to go to church all the time, because God knows I love Him whether I’m in church or not”. Yeah, try to explain to your children why your walk and talk are different. Think about it – you go to work tired, sometimes sick. You do everything you can to go to work each day, because work is not an option. Your children can see that work is not an option. Work is important. But, what about church – God’s house? Do you feel that you don’t have to go to church if…. you are sick/you are really tired/the once a year Super Bowl is on/ you need a day off/you deserve a break? Do you somehow imagine your children can’t see that?
It becomes obvious to them that although you say going to church is important, your walk indicates that church is clearly an option. Under those conditions, while living at home they’ll go, but once they leave home, they’ll stop going to church – because they, like you, have other things that come up that are more important, because church is optional. They feel they are simply choosing the best use of their time. And of course, the world overcomes them and you will grieve. And you end up praying that God will bring them back – and sometimes they come back – if Satan doesn’t destroy them first. What do you want for your children? Do you want them to be a lukewarm Christian, or a Christian that is useful to the Lord? God says exactly what He thinks of lukewarm Christians… He will spue them out of His mouth Rev. 3:16. Remember, your kids will grow up to be like you, if you are lukewarm, they will be lukewarm.
God’s House
Sometimes we don’t understand what church is. A better name is God’s house. Why do I say that? Let’s start with the pastor. This is God’s man. God put him there. You may have voted him in, but it was God who brought him there. Your pastor may be a great preacher, but it is God who lays on his heart what to preach. Sometimes when he preaches you might get mad at him because he seems to be talking to you. Guess what? It is God who is talking to you – the pastor didn’t write the book he is preaching out of!
Second, the church is the Lord’s flock. The Lord talks to His flock through His man, the pastor. The Lord knows what His flock needs – that’s why God touches the pastor’s heart about what to preach. So when you skip a service, you are telling God, that you don’t need whatever protection GOD has laid on the heart of the pastor, to give you that day!
Every day, you should have time with the Lord and His Word with your family – you need that time as well as your family! That special “daily time with the Lord” keeps everyone dependent on Him – and teaches your children (and you) what they need to do to get through life!
Please hear this. You do not want to teach your children to be independent. When children are young, they are dependent on their parents. Their parents give them protection, nourishment, teaching, and direction. Without those things, the children would not survive. As they become adults, you train them to switch their dependence on you to being dependent on God (as hopefully you are). Because they cannot survive alone against the world, the flesh, and the devil. But, if they are dependent on God, He will give them protection, nourishment, teaching, and direction. And give them blessings to overflowing! And don’t forget, you had better live what you teach. Because your walk always speaks louder than your talk!
Psalm 37:3-6
“Trust in the Lord, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed.
Delight thyself also in the Lord; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.
Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass.
And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgement as the noonday. KJV
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