I intend on from time to time, to put some advice on this blog on raising children. It’s a big subject, and would require more than a book, more like volumes. I don’t think you need more books about raising children to add the hundreds that are already on the market. I’m just going to tell you what worked for my wife and me.
When we got married, we both wanted children right away. So, ten months after we were married, our oldest daughter was born. Now, I and my wife were obviously novices at being parents. But we both wanted to have good kids (who doesn’t?). And I knew we had only one chance to raise this child, and I wanted to do it right the first time, because I couldn’t start over. I started asking friends for advice. Let me tell you, everyone has something to say! Especially those with no children. One lady related a supermarket story of a screaming kid, and said “I would NEVER allow my child to act like that in public! I would tell him to stop!” Ummm, I didn’t need to write down those incredible words of wisdom, because I can still remember that young woman saying that. And this guy I worked with. He told me that when you have just one piece of pie left, you let one kid cut it, and the other kid gets to choose first. Then he stopped talking and went back to work. Hmmm. I guess that means if you have two kids and one piece of pie, you got it covered (I think). I was looking for a little more. I recently remember this FB post…. “There are perfect parents in the world, they just haven’t had any children yet.” Truer words were never spoken! One thing became very clear. When it comes to raising children, everyone has an opinion!!
I wasn’t getting anywhere with advice from work buddies around the coffee machine.
So here is what I did. I looked at children like growing apples. If I wanted to grow good apples, I would go to different apple growers and ask what their best advice would be to get good apples. If each grower had a different opinion, yet all sounded good, which would I choose? I would do the obvious… I would go to their orchards and look at the apples they grew! And I would take the advice of the guy that had the best apples! SO, we began checking out kids because results don’t lie! We looked for qualities we wanted in our children. I can’t speak for anyone else, but one important thing we looked for was respect…. Were they respectful to adults? Why is that important? Well, in the Bible when Elisha was walking, a large group of young children were mocking his “bald head”. Elisha turned and cursed them for their mocking. Then the Bible said two she bears came out of the woods and tore up 42 of those young kids. If you are not familiar with that story (2Ki.2:23-24 KJV), you probably think, “That’s terrible! They were just little kids!” And that would be your opinion, not Gods. God always has a reason for what He does. Just because we might disagree with something God does or allows to happen, doesn’t mean He’s wrong. God is never wrong. He is always good. I’m not trying to shove that down anyone’s throat. I am saying that just because He does something we don’t understand, doesn’t mean He’s bad, it just means we don’t understand. It may be a little easier to understand what I’m trying to say if you consider Isa.55:8-9:
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.”
This story about the she bears tells us something you need to know about God. He thinks respect is important – the reason is underlined below. He doesn’t think disrespectful is “cute”. Because by that age, the children should have been taught respect. They were not trained. If they were old enough to mock, in God’s eyes they were old enough to be taught! Don’t be foolish and think that particular bible account was just an ancient story. God doesn’t change, and obviously, He puts a high level of importance on respect – even for young children. Why is it important that young children learn respect? Because if a young child refuses to respect adults, they will refuse to respect God when they are older.
I used that Bible story because the Bible was my primary instruction book to train my children – God has a lot to say about “train up a child”. I looked around at different families and found the kind of children I wanted. Then I talked to their parents who followed God’s recipe for raising children. I learned it. Cheri and I wanted our children to be better than us, because we loved them. In order for that to happen, we needed to do it right! So in future posts about raising children, I will talk about God’s Word and His instruction about children. For what it’s worth, I am planning on talking about children on many subjects; spending time with them, children and sports, going to church, godliness/character, friends, dating, and more. Children are a blessing – God says that – and they are. But the first thing a good parent must be willing to do is sacrifice (make the effort) to train their children. The TV, computer, or phone will never be substitutes for parents. In fact, these things might seem like they help because they keep the child busy. But you need to understand, they are not just toys… they are teachers. And they don’t teach good things. God talks about this stuff in His Word. So when it comes to life and living, there is no better book.
THE PICTURE
These are the three apples my wife and I grew. Haha! It was a church picture around 1985. I remember the time because of the white shirt my son was wearing. All three of my children were very active. We needed to wait to get the picture taken with a three year old in a new white shirt? Good grief! That shirt wouldn’t have a chance! So we didn’t put it on him until just before the picture. So five minutes before the picture, we attempted to put his shirt on. He got his left arm in the sleeve, but was having a little trouble with the right sleeve, so he pushed REALLY hard and tore a seven inch tear in the side of his shirt! So my dear wife raced around and got some pins to pin up the shirt…. my daughter next to him wouldn’t smile big because her two front teeth were missing. So that “angelic” looking picture wasn’t easy. 😉
Grandpa Jack's Place 